How to find yourself & what you want to be.

It has taken 27 years to get here and I still feel like there is room for improvement. But that is what life is for, to continue to grow and become our best, right?

Looking back at my life I wouldn’t always say I was proud of who I was, in fact there is a significant portion of my life where I was filled with hurt & anger. During that time I most definitely made choices I regret and wish I could redo. But today is a new day and EVERYDAY we have the opportunity to start fresh and become closer to woman (or man) we want to become. During my life progression I have come to realize a few key things that have helped me come closer to becoming the woman I know I am deep inside. So I thought I would share them. Life can be hard and confusing so I want to help others along the way, just like I was helped.

PURPOSE and PROGRESSION 

I have found that a life missing both these things can lead to depression. So how do you get them? First step, take a seat and write down what you enjoy. For me it is family, photography and travelling. Your list should & probably will be a lot longer so circle your top two or three. Now how can these things benefit others? I have found that nothing makes feel like I am living a more purposeful life than serving others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could use your interests to serve & uplift others!?! For me I have found joy in taking pictures and posting them on social media. I like to use my platform to spread light and love. I try to create a place that is uplifting and lets you know that I am aware of you and love you. How to progress? Each week write out your goals for the week. Where do I want to take pictures? Who can I serve this week? What friend or family member can I reach out to this week? When you have a plan it helps fulfill your purpose, when you act on that plan you progress. No doubt if you look to serve someone EVERY SINGLE DAY your soul will progress and you will feel like you have purpose.

REWRITE YOUR STORY

It is so easy to be filled with negative thoughts, fear and doubt. Don’t be so quick to talk yourself out of something. What I mean is this, if you are trying to lose weight and you say, “I have tried everything and nothing is working.” You are developing a story within yourself feeding you doubt. Which puts your mind in a negative place making you believe you CANNOT lose weight. So when someone suggests you try XYZ you have already believed you cannot lose weight so you most likely give half your effort on your friends XYZ recommendation just to say, “See nothing is working, no matter what I try I’ll never lose weight.” So when you feel yourself creating this doubtful story say, “Stop. Get off the negative track and come back to point A (where you are now) and look towards point B (where you want to be).”¬† In this instant tell yourself the story you want to happen. “I will workout 3x a week. I can do this because I am a hard worker. I have done hard things before I can do it again. I can see myself putting clothes that are too big for me in a bag and donating them because I lost the weight.”

STATE OF MIND

This goes hand in hand with rewriting your story. The ability to have control over your emotions is so powerful. You may want to be irritable in a circumstance but if you can take a breath put on a smile and teach yourself to be patient during that circumstance you will grow and be SO happy with yourself. Write down a list of positive emotions you feel on the daily. Not once in a blue moon but on the regular. Mine are laughter, creativity, joy, weird, happy. The list should be pretty long. Now right out a list of negative emotions you feel on the daily/weekly. Victimized, doubtful, defensive, irritable. Next to each negative word write down a happy emotion you wish you could feel in that negative moment instead. Victimized – understanding, Doubtful- Confident, Irritable- patient. Now it is up to you to use these happy emotions as trigger words in moments of negative emotions. When you are feeling irritable tell yourself I am patient. Etc. This practice is one of the hardest but you can do it. I give you a 90 day challenge to change your state of mind using this practice. This practice is one tested by Tony Robbins and those who have completed it have seen the success of positive thinking in their daily lives.

I have a billion other ways to help you find yourself and become who you want but lets start with these 3. I hope to hear from you and about your journey. Below are some pictures from my birthday yesterday. I celebrated with my mother in law and sisters at The Grand America Tea Room. I wanted to share this post on my 27th birthday because I feel like this is the year I have truly become the closest to the woman that I want to be.

It’s my baby sisters birthday today. We always celebrate together!

 

XOXO JNESS

 

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