How to find yourself & what you want to be.

It has taken 27 years to get here and I still feel like there is room for improvement. But that is what life is for, to continue to grow and become our best, right?

Looking back at my life I wouldn’t always say I was proud of who I was, in fact there is a significant portion of my life where I was filled with hurt & anger. During that time I most definitely made choices I regret and wish I could redo. But today is a new day and EVERYDAY we have the opportunity to start fresh and become closer to woman (or man) we want to become. During my life progression I have come to realize a few key things that have helped me come closer to becoming the woman I know I am deep inside. So I thought I would share them. Life can be hard and confusing so I want to help others along the way, just like I was helped.

PURPOSE and PROGRESSION 

I have found that a life missing both these things can lead to depression. So how do you get them? First step, take a seat and write down what you enjoy. For me it is family, photography and travelling. Your list should & probably will be a lot longer so circle your top two or three. Now how can these things benefit others? I have found that nothing makes feel like I am living a more purposeful life than serving others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could use your interests to serve & uplift others!?! For me I have found joy in taking pictures and posting them on social media. I like to use my platform to spread light and love. I try to create a place that is uplifting and lets you know that I am aware of you and love you. How to progress? Each week write out your goals for the week. Where do I want to take pictures? Who can I serve this week? What friend or family member can I reach out to this week? When you have a plan it helps fulfill your purpose, when you act on that plan you progress. No doubt if you look to serve someone EVERY SINGLE DAY your soul will progress and you will feel like you have purpose.

REWRITE YOUR STORY

It is so easy to be filled with negative thoughts, fear and doubt. Don’t be so quick to talk yourself out of something. What I mean is this, if you are trying to lose weight and you say, “I have tried everything and nothing is working.” You are developing a story within yourself feeding you doubt. Which puts your mind in a negative place making you believe you CANNOT lose weight. So when someone suggests you try XYZ you have already believed you cannot lose weight so you most likely give half your effort on your friends XYZ recommendation just to say, “See nothing is working, no matter what I try I’ll never lose weight.” So when you feel yourself creating this doubtful story say, “Stop. Get off the negative track and come back to point A (where you are now) and look towards point B (where you want to be).”¬† In this instant tell yourself the story you want to happen. “I will workout 3x a week. I can do this because I am a hard worker. I have done hard things before I can do it again. I can see myself putting clothes that are too big for me in a bag and donating them because I lost the weight.”

STATE OF MIND

This goes hand in hand with rewriting your story. The ability to have control over your emotions is so powerful. You may want to be irritable in a circumstance but if you can take a breath put on a smile and teach yourself to be patient during that circumstance you will grow and be SO happy with yourself. Write down a list of positive emotions you feel on the daily. Not once in a blue moon but on the regular. Mine are laughter, creativity, joy, weird, happy. The list should be pretty long. Now right out a list of negative emotions you feel on the daily/weekly. Victimized, doubtful, defensive, irritable. Next to each negative word write down a happy emotion you wish you could feel in that negative moment instead. Victimized – understanding, Doubtful- Confident, Irritable- patient. Now it is up to you to use these happy emotions as trigger words in moments of negative emotions. When you are feeling irritable tell yourself I am patient. Etc. This practice is one of the hardest but you can do it. I give you a 90 day challenge to change your state of mind using this practice. This practice is one tested by Tony Robbins and those who have completed it have seen the success of positive thinking in their daily lives.

I have a billion other ways to help you find yourself and become who you want but lets start with these 3. I hope to hear from you and about your journey. Below are some pictures from my birthday yesterday. I celebrated with my mother in law and sisters at The Grand America Tea Room. I wanted to share this post on my 27th birthday because I feel like this is the year I have truly become the closest to the woman that I want to be.

It’s my baby sisters birthday today. We always celebrate together!

 

XOXO JNESS

 

Continue Reading

What would be your BREAKTHROUGH moment??

 

SHOP MY LOOK

Good Morning Everyone!

The other day Jordan asked me what my breakthrough moment would be right now? What needs to change in order for me to become the person/live the life I want? My first response was to find joy in the journey. I am quick to overlook the small victories and get hung up on the accomplishments I haven’t achieved. I want to be more positive and celebrate the growth in myself and career no matter how small. I want to notice what I currently have and not be thinking so much about what I need to do next to reach that higher level. Living in the present creates so much joy and I want to live a joyful life daily.

My second thought was the ability to see others. When I interact with someone I want to be so in tune with their character that I will be able to pick up on how I can serve them, what advice to give them or simply how I can be a breath of fresh air and give them a moment of joy during our conversation. I think the ability to have a positive attitude and seeing joy in your daily routine will create an environment that will be inviting to others. Pair that with the desire to reach out to others, genuinely see them for who they are and look for ways to lift them up; would be the combination of a breakthrough moment for me. Doing those two things daily for the rest of my life would be my breakthrough moment. That is who I want to become.

Jordan was watching this documentary on the idea of breakthroughs and how people think that a breakthrough comes after years of work. Well this guy believed it happens in an instant! You simply just say what you want and DO IT! Live it, become it! Right here, right now! Say it! So that is what I am doing here. From this day forward I WILL live a more positive lifestyle by finding joy in the journey! I will do this by celebrating my small victories and focusing my energy on recognizing how much fun I had developing my projects and presenting them. I won’t allow the results to take away from the passion and joy I have in my career. From this day forward I WILL take the time to engage with others. I will do this by seeing who they are, listening to what they are saying and acting on inspirations I receive to help lift and bring joy to their lives.

What is your breakthrough moment? I challenge you to make it happen right here right now!

XOXO Jness

SHOP MY LOOK

Continue Reading